You wouldn’t think with my violent history that I’d miss working the streets but I do. I used to love hugging the brick walls in the late evening, my fingers feeling each gap in the mortar coursing, just waiting under the soft orange glow of the overhead lights. I owned those streets, even if I disappeared for an hour or two in-between my mute watch. You wouldn’t believe it but I felt a silent power in my prostate prose: I was in charge, I was the one you gave the money to.
Reading this I know you’ll disagree, you’ll think I’m daft or stupid – misguided at best, abused at worst.
I remember you well in the crowned hotel suite. It wasn’t the city setting or tipping of the concierge that impressed me, it was your wry smile, the hand holding and the delicate kisses. It was the dream that I lived in this moment for much longer than those dollar bills suggested. I knew I’d return to my own corner soon enough, that I’d feel the sharp edge of a winter’s night once more plucking at my pale skin, but in that moment I didn’t care.
You gave me a way out of this job and I took it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss those streets even as you returned home after a hard day of work at the office. I am chained here, just as I was to those bricks.