I sit and I stare, and I stare and I sit. My hands dance around the keyboard fast, like jittery spider legs all dancing to different tunes. Music is my saviour in this environment. Without it I am sure I would have quit long ago, perhaps not of my own accord. It keeps me grounded, both encouraging me to pursue the dreams I still have and to soldier through. I think of the many hours it took to make those albums, those songs that I hear day in and day out, of the musicians doing it for the sheer love it of it, for the need to fulfill the creative energy. This line of thinking makes me crave my own instrument of choice, the guitar sitting silently now at home. It’s sunburst finished body reflecting the big beautiful sun that filters through the windows of my bedroom.
There is something uniquely mind numbing about staring at a screen for 8 hours a day, not doing what you want to do, but having to do it anyway and regardless. To know that you are an expendable part of a greater whole, a cog that can be replaced at any time by any one. It is both thoroughly depressing and liberating.