“Don’t look down, look at me, look at my eyes.”
The rain was falling in a light mist that could not be felt properly. He was aware though that his forehead was somehow wet and he could feel the liquid slowly trickling down the worry creases that taken years to form. He also was sure that the rain was merging with the saline rich stream that was currently running down his right cheek in a painful physical tell of fear.
“What the fuck are you doing back here? Why have you come back and what the fuck is in your bag?”
“I just thought I’d come back for a few days, you know? I haven’t been back since I finished the job and I wanted to see if anything had changed, to see who was still around and to..well you know, to see if it was still the same!”
“Don’t bullshit me.”
“I’m not, I’m not!”
“Alright, so tell me, what did you find?”
“I…I think it’s the same… largely, like how I used to remember it, the fear of being somewhere new unknown and being instantly forgettable but then I catch myself, remember the memories attached to each corner street, the laughs that I’ve shared and the good times I’ve had, to know that I am back visiting but not to live, to know that everyone I’ve seen here isn’t just visiting for a day or two that they actually live here, have put down roots here, have work mates that they go for drinks with, old friends around every corner that take the time to meet up and do things with. It made me…I guess it made me think that I’m apart, I don’t, didn’t…. but used to, belong here probably, but that I became fundamentally detached from the people that remain here, that I moved away, into the shadows? whilst they cemented their lives to the concrete and to the green growths of life here.
You know I’m still recognised by staff here? They ask me where I’ve been but they don’t ask me how I am.”
“Why would they even care? You came here, you did the job and you left. As. Simple. As. That.”
“What the hell do you know? You don’t know what I went through!”
“Shut up, just shut the fuck up. You came back to the city that you were never meant to see again, why?”
“I’ve already told you!”
“You haven’t even told me the half of it. Ah I don’t care, put the bag down.”
He gently laid the bag on the floor and kicked it half way to his aggressor.
“You know this is the end don’t you?”
“You shouldn’t have come back.”
“I know… I know.”
After he disposed of the body the man opened the bag. ‘Well I’ll be damned’ he thought, ‘I’ll be damned’.